It's heading into that time of year that those of us in customer service roles dread.
The silly season.
So as a public service to all others, who like me are pretty much living at work over the next couple of weeks, I figured I should compile a what NOT to do list for customers.
As much as the things listed seem like common sense to avoid, they are all examples given by others I know (as well as my own experiences) so common sense may not be as common as it should be. I couldn't make this shit up if I TRIED!
1) While you are being served get off your bloody phone! It's rude and transactions take longer when you aren't listening to the person serving you. Also don't tap your fingers at us. Or worse.. Click at us!
2) Fitting rooms are NOT toilets. Hiding a turd under a pile of clothes won't solve the problem either!
3) Following on from number 2, fitting rooms aren't a private space for you to have a "hand relief" session over multiple pairs of women's underwear. (The police were called for that one)
4) Don't try on clothes while "aunt flow" is visiting an you have no grasp on personal hygiene.
5) DON'T expect to return items that have been used or soiled. Clothes reeking of cigarette smoke or worn UNWASHED underwear cannot be returned. The undies riding up your crack while you were wearing them doesn't make them faulty!
6) FYI. The oldest looking staff member is not always the manager.
7) Don't ask the person serving you super personal questions. Whatever someone's sexuality is, is NONE of your business.
8) Don't ask the pregnant woman serving you if she's keeping the baby just because you have assumed she's 16 when really she's 22 and married.
9) Don't poo in pot plants
10) Sex in change rooms isn't cool.
11) DONT strip down to your jocks to show the bartender how much weight you have lost.
12) If your child has an accident in a store. Clean it up! Or at least let someone know. Don't a) cover it with a notebook or similar. b) park your pram over it while in the store an then wheel out a trail of crap behind it. c) wipe their backside and leave the wipes behind as well!
13) Ask if there is a bin, DONT put your empty cup wherever you feel like.
14) DON'T comment in the size, shape or appearance of the person serving you unless it's a genuine compliment.
15) DON'T get snippy when greeted at the door. It's our job. As long as its genuine and happy...stop bitching.
16) Yes we will try to up-sell. Again...it's our job. Take it in good humour.
17) We aren't babysitters. Supervise your own bloody kids! I don't know you an I don't know your kids so don't leave them alone in the store!
18) If its obviously busy please try not to get cross with us. We are as frazzled by the whole season as you are. Remember we also need to fit in our own Christmas shopping at some stage when we aren't helping you with yours!
19) DONT dump your money on the counter then rudely push it towards us to pay. Be a freaking human and HAND it to us!
20) If you see someone with staff ID tags or uniform while in line for the loo don't start complaining about a product they stock. Write to head office. We don't choose our products. Especially DON'T continue the conversation/complaint from the cubical next to us. Wee time is ME time!
Enjoy your Christmas shopping folks.
And remember to be nice. If you are in one of the many shopping centres in perth it could me serving you...and I'm a right bitch!
Ps. Don't get me wrong. I actually really enjoy my job and 99% of my customers. The other 1% give me great material to blog about.