Thursday, August 30, 2012

When trolls come out to play- Defence force version

Today news was released that 5 Australian army were killed in two separate incidences in Afghanistan.
Every single time we lose one of our boys (or girls, although I don't think that's happened yet in Afghanistan , correct me of I'm wrong!) big tough keyboard warriors come out to play.

I was a defence spouse for 5 years (still am in a way as hubby is still an active reservist)
In that 5 years there were 5 international trips (for him, not me) that spanned from a couple of weeks to months away, we had a baby, we moved to 5 houses in 5 different states of Australia, lots of trips all over the country (again for him, not me) and him weeks and weeks and weeks away.
I know that it all sounds very negative but the reality was that I was pretty lucky. My husband only deployed to one country and it wasn't classed as a war zone at the time, and the worst injury he ever suffered required a full tendon reconstruction to his ankle after completely destroying it then continuing to work as normal.

Tonight 5 families have found out their husband/father/son/brother/uncle/best friend is never coming home again. Fathers that will never get to read their children a bedtime story again.
Some who do come home don't come back the same, the scrounge that is PTSD irreparability changes them. Families are altered or destroyed.
I have been with a friend when she has gotten a phone call from her husband deployed in the middle east after a close call whist on patrol and that reaction alone is enough to chill to the bone at the reality of the situation

In Australia, military service is voluntary. They are highly trained and immensely patriotic and passionate about their job and what it represents.
As much as the media is harsh on defense culture alot of the time what they fail to focus on is the mate ship, the connection that is sometimes stronger than family ties and the reality that if there is ever a problem your mates always have your back, no matter what!

What sickens me is that whenever a soldier is killed the Internet trolls rev up their modems and jump on their soapboxes to use the death of an ADF member as an opportunity to spew their putrid opinions to anyone who will listen.
Over the years I have read that soldiers deserve to be killed for being idiotic pawns of war, that soldiers are rapists and murderers, that soldiers are terrorists with better toys. The worst by far was a couple of years ago was under a post about the most recent fatalities someone had replied with "good riddance" I'm sure similar things would be said about sailors or airmen/women if they suffered fatalities as well.

Believing in or supporting whichever conflict is happening whenever has nothing to do with it. Soldiers, sailors and airmen/women go where they are ordered to, no ifs, buts or maybes about it. The consequences of not going or going AWOL can result in jail time in a military prison.

Our military is made up of PEOPLE.
All kinds of people, all with different backgrounds, beliefs and back stories.
Every single one of those people are someones son or daughter.
Some have their own sons or daughters.
And every single one of them are trying to do the best they can in a very unique and unusual lifestyle.

To all the trolls out there slagging out our serving members. You are all very tough and opinionated behind your keyboard but I would love to see you announce those same thoughts in person in front of a full defence unit.
Let's see how tough you are then.
Go on.
I dare you!


  1. Well said! RIP to Those who have given there absolute all.

  2. Way to make the hormonal pregnant woman cry Cie. I couldn't agree with you more. It feels like you pulled every single word out of my head. Good on you for standing up and saying something.

    Thank you.

  3. Absolutley well said!!

  4. I have read quite a few nasty comments in response to soldiers dying from a variety of countries. If it wasn't for my brother in law defending what we can refer to as a free country, just how free would we be?! There is A LOT more politics involved than a simple deploy but people don't care to find out and choose to be ignorant and think they are entitled to have an opinion with absolutely no basis what-so-ever!!! Well said :)

  5. Well said! What a great post!!
    I, thankfully, haven't seen any trolling posts about this tragedy, and am in shock that our people are dying and some people they are dying for can be so disgusting!

  6. Thank you. I repeatedly butt into random pols convoys web I hear them disrespect the ADF. They don't know the anguish of a parent or spouse. They're not the one consolling a child of an ADF member wen mum or dad is away. Until they get a backbone n they r in OUR shoes they have NO FCKN RIGHT to comment

  7. All it shows is that people are ill informed and unthinking.

  8. I agree that some are definitely trolls, but some also want them just to come home so more aren't killed. Also, do you think you are extremely sensitive to the topic as you lived it, and have friends there?

    1. I am probably more sensitive to the whole situation than the average civilian.
      As for the trolling examples I detailed in the above post. How does calling someone a murderer and a terrorist for being a deployed defence member (or member in general) even weigh into the whole, should we be there or not debate? It's revolting, insensitive and uncalled for.
      It does not make a political statement about the current defence conflict, it degrades and insults the members and serves no other purpose.

  9. Well said. RIP to ALL the heros that have paid the ultimate sacrifice for us to live as we do. Without their amazing work the troll would not have the freedom the do so maybe they should think of that.

  10. Fiona
    I am not pregnant ( but highly emotional) and I am crying as well...such a sook
    Again Cie great post, thank-you xx

  11. Funny.....My husband and I were having the exact same conversation last night. He is RAAF as is 2 of my 3 boys and my daughter in-law, my youngest son is Navy.
    You have perfectly summed up how I'm sure all military families feel.
    My husband has done one middle east tour and will shortly deploy on his second. He is so proud that he is serving his country, after all that is what he signed up to do. Yes, I will be worried for his safety, but after 25yrs of marriage I know and respect that this is something he needs to do and I support him 100% as I do all defence members who serve and protect our wonderful nation.
    As my husband commented last night, 'The Trolls' don't really give a flying f@#ck about the deaths of these fine men and their families, they just use this moment to get on and voice their political views.
    I applaude your blog post and I also dare anyone to speak out!!

  12. Well Said Cie, we are sensitive to this issue as we have our loved ones in the ADF. How dare some people go on their own little tyrant and start saying things about this and that. We love and support ALL members of the ADF whether we know them personally or not its human nature and as we are part of the greater defence community when something like happens it hits every single one of us regardless of if we know them or not they are FAMILY!

    All i wanted last night was to hold my husband and I couldnt he is currently away deployed due home soon but still its nights and days like yesterday when all you want to do is hold the ones you love close and make sure they are ok. Sadly there are 5 wives and families who wont be able to do that again. The empty seat at the dinner table will always be there as a reminder of the horrible event that occured yesterday and no1 can replace that person they loved so much and hoped so badly that it wasnt their partner may they find the strength to go one day at a time and know that we are all behind them 100% and that the men and women still fighting know we support them and thank them for everything they are doing to KEEP US SAFE

  13. Geez... what about the discarded families with the PTSD service member that is not diagnosed and If they are are only given counselling, not the family of three small kids, moved from place to strange place and left alone to fend for themselves... the family that love that person who slips away from them??? then to be kicked out on the street after years of faithful service to these members that serve our country ?? Wtf about them... I am in no way disregarding the terrible deaths of our troups, that is not my intention, I barely slept whilst my other half was away. The defence has a lot to answer for in regards to the mentality of it all and the destruction of families due to the lack of post war mental health.

    1. I am in NO WAY being pro defence as an organisation, My personal dealings with them as a serving member was unpleasant to say the least.
      I think their dealings with members with PTSD leaves a lot to be desired and needs to be worked on in a HUGE way. My heart goes out to all families (defence or otherwise) dealing with a loved one with this horrendous condition. I completely agree that the mental heath side of fighting in a war-zone needs to be more closely looked at and the taboo needs to be removed.
      I'm talking about internet trolls who use the death of defence members as a reason to be inflammatory and make revolting remarks to slur them just to get reactions or be generally disgusting.

    2. While I wholeheartedly agree and as the wife of a forgotten soldier suffering from PTSD - that's a whole other blog and not what P2P is blogging about right now.

    3. I know a small amount about PTSD but haven't experienced anyone I love suffering with it. It is a whole other blog post and if anyone would be interested in writing a guest post about their experiences dealing with it I would love to post it. Please send me an email to It NEEDS to be talked about but I'm not the one to tell that story.

  14. I am an Army Mum so particularily sensitive to this issue...but I'm not apoligising for it, & I never will. My son lost 6 mates while deployed in Afghanistan a few years ago. With each death my fear of losing him be honest I think I have only just recovered from that deployment. My son came back a changed man desperate to live his life well in honour of his lost brothers. I am so proud of him & all his mates because they would pay the ultimate price for us. When I hear of another soldier lost my heart aches...and I remember 'but for the grace of God' it could of been my son, my family, my loss. I pray daily for those left to grieve & the soldiers still in harm's way.As for the insensitive Trolls? Grow a heart you morons!!!


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