Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Entering the real world as soon to be former stay at home mum.

Hey everyone!

As I previously mentioned my 4 year old daughter starts school in less than 4 weeks (part time kindergarten here in Western Australia) Full time Pre-primary starts next year.

As shes an only child (at this stage) this will mean I have to re-enter the world of adults.
<cue dramatic music!>

{To childless peeps this sounds all very strange I'm assuming, I will try and explain}

  • I can no longer live in jeans and a t-shirt that don't flatter, using the excuse of comfort and practicality.
  • I can no longer spend endless days hanging out at home with limited outside world contact (without a child involved it just seems lazy!)
  • I will actually have to wear all the super high heels I own and have told my husband that I WILL wear them when little madam isn't with me.
  • I cant duck to the shops with unwashed hair and no makeup hoping people will just assume that I'm an overtired mummy (always helps when little madam has a tantrum while we are there, adds to the illusion)

The truth is that I could have started my transition back to the real world years ago as the demands (especially physical) have decreased exponentially as she has gotten older and more interdependent. So why didn't I change?

Honestly....I was scared.

As much as I hate the term "just a mum" the stereotype gave me comfort.
If people found me boring at a backyard BBQ and ended conversation abruptly it was their problem not mine as it was because I was "just a mum"
If I looked for part time work and was rejected it was because the employer saw me as "just a mum" not because I have no concrete qualifications.

Maybe it had nothing to do with being "just a mum"... Maybe it was just me!

I have, for the most part, LOVED being "just a mum" and staying home to raise my daughter. I have watched her grow and not missed a single milestone. I'm very fortunate to have been able to do this as I know many other mums (parents) can't stay home full-time for a million different reasons. (and this isn't about judging that one way or the other)

But I'm a bit jealous. Do mums who return to work earlier have this feeling of being completely lost when school time comes around? Do they flounder at the idea of 2.5 days a week alone?

I would love to hear from everyone.
Childless peeps- How do you feel about "just a mum" people?
Mums who returned to work early- Do you still feel lost as your child/children start school, Like a loss of identity?
"Just" mum's- Am I alone in feeling this way?

much love


  1. The thought of having to 'dress up' to take my daughter to gymnastics TERRIFIES me. I used to dress nicely but now if it's not my pj's I'm puzzled!

  2. I think 'just a mum' people are great - some are dear friends of can be hard because being Mum is all they see they are. I see SO much more in them - and wish they did too! It is hard to be friends (when you don't have kids of your own) with people that talk only about their kids. But of course I love them no matter what :-) You will go great - meet awesome new people and love it - that I am sure!

  3. No you're not alone at all. My third and final child starts school next year and I'm dreading it in a way, celebrating it in another. Apart from the fact that I'm losing my little buddy to hang out with, I will have to be a real person, I already do this two days a week at work, but doing my everyday things like going to the shops etc. will be so weird without her. I do feel for women who have go back when their children are still babies.

    :-) Bel


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